How much is part or all of us being pulled back into the past (whether that is yesterday or last year), by traumatic events, loss of someone or something, unfinished relationships, resentments, regrets, romantic illusions and nostalgia, all clogging up and fogging our ability to be living here and now?
How often do we feel like a part of us has disappeared in those memories? Or do we hold onto those memories because we are afraid if we let go of them we may forget and then feel guilty about it? Is any of this being a kindness to us?
A lot of people suffer from grief because they make a lot of assumptions about grief and what they should or shouldn’t do. What if grief is just energy? Could that be a gift of lightness and ease? How much of your true self are you suppressing to stay in those thoughts, feelings and emotions of grief so that you can maintain the heaviness and significance that everyone expects of you? What if you could see grief from a space of allowance, question and possibility?
How many conclusions have we made about what grief is? What choices and decisions have we made with grief? Are the ideas below familiar to you?
“Don’t let anyone in... have the shields up… bury yourself... check out and exit your life... fight with everyone around you as that is the only way you can get ahead! Be absolutely crushed by it - there is no other choice! Believe that something is really wrong with you… try to make something right when it is wrong… ‘This keeps happening - is there something I am doing wrong?’”
Are these all the ways that we keep pulling ourselves back into choosing grief and the past? Is any of this actually being kind and nurturing to you, or is it about gathering more evidence to keep you in the wrongness of you from everyone’s point of view (including yours!)?
What questions could you be asking that could allow for more possibilities for you? We live in a society that is involved in relationships of all kinds all the time. The one relationship we seem to have missed is our relationship with our inner being. What could be possible if we start being kind to us?