To change this you can ask questions. So for example, with this lady, I asked her: “Is now the time for you to change this?” She said ‘Yes’, and I’m also willing to be aware of what she is willing to receive.
Her idea of changing it and someone else’s might be totally different. She might be willing to move two millimetres in a different direction and that’s better than what she had yesterday. I was so aware of how much she really loves the story.
This is one of the 10 Commandments of Access Consciousness … “Do not listen to, tell or buy the story.” Her story is how she has defined herself. If you find yourself doing this, ask some questions. Questions create awareness. When you have awareness you can change the story. “What’s the value and significance of the past that I am holding onto? What is it about this that I love so much that I can’t stop talking about it?”
How do you stop listening to the stories?
You know when you see people that you haven’t seen for a long time, there is this tendency to tell them all the stories and catch them up, usually with the trauma and drama stories, rather than the cool, amazing things that have shown up (the news has taught us those stories are boring right??).
If you are listening to someone tell their story, be really present with yourself and just be ‘interesting point of view’ about it all. And then if it goes for too long energetically ask: “What would it take for them to stop talking now?” By being you, being interesting point of view (which is the energy of no judgement), and being totally present, you are not putting more energy into their story. You stop fuelling the fire.
Sometimes this approach gives people the awareness that their story is just a story and only by telling it can it continue to be a story. By being in such allowance, by being interesting point of view and not buying the story, it’s actually a gift to them.
When I moved from the country into the city I realised I was talking about the same things. “We’ve moved into a brand new house.” One day I was facilitating a class, and I was talking about it and I went; “Wow! I’ve moved locations, but I’ve still got the same story.”
You can go all around the world, but your life is still going to go with you unless you change the story or just stop telling it. If my friends bring old stories up, I say: “You know what? That’s the past, and I don’t really want to focus on that anymore. Thanks so much for reminding me I don’t have anything more to say on that topic.” And that is the end of telling the story that keeps you stuck in old energies.
What if you could invite people to start asking questions that would create a different future instead? How much fun could you have with that?