If you have ever found yourself thinking ‘I should be over this by now’ or, someone has said it to you, here is one thing to start asking: “What if you aren’t wrong?”
Sometimes there is the guilt of not being over it, and sometimes there is the guilt of being over it much faster than people expect. Either way, we are trying to live up to our own or other people’s expectations. Is that working for you or would you like to try something different?
So what if you’re not over it yet? What else is possible?
Firstly know that guilt is designed to distract us from what is actually going on. So what if you return all the guilt to wherever it came from and then start to ask “What’s right about me I’m not getting?” and “What’s right about this I’m not getting?” When we ask questions like these, we come into an awareness of what it is that is stopping us from moving forward. And that’s the point at which it can start to change.
What if you could look at everywhere you’ve decided that you’ve got to get it right, or you’ve got to get an answer that will fix everything and just let go of all of the judgments, decisions, conclusions you have about the situation. What if it is just about us moving forward and changing, without any point of view of what’s right and what’s wrong?
Thinking “I should be over this by now” is just an invitation to be wrong. How wrong can you be and still get it right? What if there is no issue? What if there is no ‘over it’? What if there was no ‘now’?
What if there is just a choice to be with it. One thing I know is that when you just be with something you are judging as wrong, just be with it with no point of view it is amazing how much the energy can change. So right now, take something you ‘should be over by now’ and just be with it... and for every thought, feeling or emotion that comes up, just say “interesting point of view I have this point of view.”
You may need to say it 10, 20 or a hundred times. It doesn’t matter. At some point, you’ll start to have space with it and all of a sudden you won’t be judging you anymore. What if you could use this simple tool with every situation that is not working for you? What difference could you be that would change everything?