From a young child of about five years old to well into my 40s, I suffered with constant and debilitating migraines.
My response to having them was typical of the “symptoms” of grief: I would be out of circulation for days, I buried myself away, I didn't let anyone in. I had the shields up and I couldn’t stand to be around people. I would go into sadness, anger and a heavy and significant state of believing something was very wrong with me. I was stuck in the cycle of feeling helpless to change anything, and I was in a continual state of worry and fear about when my next one was coming.
The Effort To Cope was Contracting My Life...
I would never leave the house without a plastic bag full of different types of medications "just in case" I might need them. I was always told when you felt the first signs of migraine symptoms that you must take something straight away to stop it, and there were different medications for different symptoms – so I had quite a collection!
Putting coping mechanisms in play to deal with migraines took over so much of my life. My world became small and contracted. I tried to control as much as possible around me. I blamed the migraines for my life having to be so limited, but what I later came to realise was that it was my choice to be small and controlled that was creating the grief and pain I experienced.
The brutal honesty that ended up empowering me and changing everything...
The first time in my life that I truly felt empowered to start changing this was when I realized that my point of view creates the reality I experience, and not the other way around.
It can be confronting to acknowledge this at first. But for me, it was interesting to realise that when I create a point of view in my own world it can create a physical dis-ability, and it was even more interesting to acknowledge that I could change my reality with migraines by changing my point of view.
I had decided many years ago that the migraines were horrible and I couldn’t do anything about them. When I let go of that and started looking at things differently, what was previously impossible, began to unravel.
Before you give up on changing something, try these 3 things...
If you have something causing you constant grief, whether it’s a body or health issue, relationship issue, work issue, money issue or anything issue – I suggest that you don’t give up trying to change it until you have done (at least) these 3 things:
- Acknowledge that beginning to change the way you think about things will open a door for you to find some different possibilities. If you give up the belief that you can’t change it, what else might be possible you have never considered? Ask “What else is possible?” every time you find yourself feeling helpless or limited in your choices.
- Whether we know it or not, we all have this capacity to sense energy. This is a pretty cool capacity, but when we then decide to buy all that crazy stuff as ours, without even checking if it is something we would choose, well that is not the smartest choice we can make – and it can make your head hurt, literally! It’s easy to begin to create clarity on what energy is and isn’t yours with the question, “WHO DOES THIS BELONG TO?” If whatever you are experiencing or feeling lightens up just a little when you ask this question - it isn’t really yours! You are just really aware of what it going on all around you, and you don’t have to take it on anymore!
- The other thing that changed it all for me was learning a body-based technique, called Access Bars. The Bars not only relaxed my body, but gave me space to consider a different possibility, so that whenever a symptom, feeling or sensation came up I could ask "What awareness is my body giving me?” rather than going into the conclusion, “Oh I have a migraine coming on!”
What is possible for you that you decided isn't? If you gave up thinking it was impossible, what else would be possible?
If you would like to know more about the Access Bars check out www.accessconsciousness.com/wendymulder