I remember when my husband was going down that track after his heart attack. I really saw that I was fighting for his life. I was actually fighting for his life and living. And it was a real demand that I would not go down that rabbit hole with him.
The demand for me was, no matter what was going on, I was going to be me. I was going to be me and I was going to be courageous enough to choose that I would not sympathise with him. Not empathise with him. Not go into: “Oh poor victim that he is.” I had to have the courage to not going into any of those places and spaces.
He was getting sicker because of all the projections people were giving him: “You are going to be depressed. You’re going to have these symptoms”. It is common for medical people to put the person through their educational structures, without asking what is actually going on during the recovery phase.
For example, he had a heart attack, so it was; “Now you go onto all these different medications, then you have to follow up in the medical system, and you have to go through the rehabilitation system...” And part of their education is: “Well, this could happen. And that could happen.” And they educate you into more illness, unless you are willing to have it all be an interesting point of view and make the demand that you be you.
How? By being totally present with who you be, and knowing that you are this amazing person, that you are not the illness, that you are a person who knows about joy, who doesn’t have limitation, who doesn’t come from scarcity and it’s the demand of staying with that energy, rather than caving into the expectations of what happens when you are ill or dying. And then, if you are willing to see the medical people without judgement you will be able to go; “This is how they are functioning. I have a choice.”
Your choice comes from asking questions. What if you go beyond the status quo? Beyond the rules or the set of conclusions around ‘it has to be this way’? If you go beyond answers and start to ask questions, you can create a different possibility.
Most people are happy with answers, what if questions could create a whole lot more? What if everything that is going on for you and those close to you could be just an interesting point of view?