That energy of “I’ve got to get it right” is far more subtle than we recognise. How many times as a child were you told; “You’ve got it wrong. You’re stupid. You didn’t do it right?”
When people are dying, or your pet’s dying or something is coming to a close, it feels like there’s even more energy of “you’ve got to get it right”, because it’s the last chance.
The reality is that we have last chances everyday, we just don’t know it at the time. And so it becomes a choice to make every moment of our life into something we are grateful for, rather than making some moments far more significant than others. What if nothing was significant and everything could be a choice?
What if the more willing you are to be comfortable with who you be, that every moment, wherever you are, whoever you are with, is the moment you have enjoyed with that person to the full extent of what is possible?
That’s the true choice. When someone has passed on, or they’ve moved out of relationship, or whatever it is, if you have actually enjoyed that time with them then you will be happy to move on. There can be an acknowledgement of all of the moments and the beauty of those moments, without it having to be the same forever for everything to be ‘right’ or ‘good’.
If every choice is just a choice and you didn’t judge the ‘rightness’ of it, what else could be possible? More ease with grief? Or a totally new way of living?