How do you know if you are being you? You ask questions! Here’s an example...
When I know I’m being the space of me, there’s a lightness about me, there’s an ease about me, there’s a joy about me and there’s such a kindness for me, such a joy. Is that true for you too? When you are being you, you’ll feel like there is more space, more ease and joy. If you haven’t got that energy, then you aren’t being you!!
So, if you are feeling all joyful and spacious, and you jump on the phone, and you have a chat to someone, and then you get off the phone and you don’t feel great anymore, you have to ask ‘who does this belong to?’. This is how quick it is for us to go into someone else’s life as if it is ours. If you’re not willing to ask questions and not willing to be really aware, you can go for half an hour, or a day or a week and be in the space of their energy, of all of their sadness or whatever it is.
The real magic and beauty is when we just go; “Oh, hold on a minute. Who does all this belong to? This is not mine. Return to sender.”
You have to know what works for you, know your family members and know what works for them. So for me phoning people to give them an update of how my Mum was doing was something that I knew was not easy for me. So I asked questions.
“Who of my family members and who of my friends really likes to be on the phone?” So in that 10 seconds it was my sister. And it was like; “Would she like to have ownership of this? Would this be a contribution to her?” And I got a yes.
So, I asked her: “Would you like to do this part of it. Would you like to be the communicator? As this doesn’t work for me. This is not easy for me.” She was happy to do that, and then I only had to talk to one person about what was going on, which was so much easier for me, and allowed me to have more time being the space and ease and peace that is truly me.
This approach allowed my sister to feel included, and all I had to do was co-ordinate and communicate with one person. When I chose for me, it was possible to include the needs of everyone, just by asking a few simple questions.