When we have decided that it’s a ‘good’ change, we allow it to improve and enrich us; when it’s ‘bad’ change, we experience deep loss and go into a sense of lack. But what creates the idea of what changes are good and which are bad?
The choice to experience change as loss is a symptom of a bigger societal trend. It is not actually what would necessarily work for you, or be in your (or anyone else’s) best interest. What if the whole concept of loss is based solely on how you have seen everybody else do it, how you have been taught to do it, and prevails only because you think you have no other choice? It would be too weird to grieve differently – or would it? What if you could start to make the choice to see things differently, and what if you could experience all change, any change, with a sense of gratitude and of possibility?
As someone who nurtured both my parents and my best friend in their way out of life, I realised that we have so many different choices when it comes to grief, loss and change in our lives. And the less judgment we have of things, the more joy and beauty is available in every moment.
What if death, or those changes we have been taught to believe in as the ‘losses’ in life, were not the bad and wrong things we have been told, but a change that creates a different possibility for everyone involved?
Imagine being able to be there for someone who is dying with kindness, gratitude and non-judgment. What difference would that make for them, and you? Imagine being able to farewell a loved one and allow your life to become greater, and not less as a result of the contribution they were in your life, whether that was for a long while, or a short while? Imagine being able to have the sadness of saying goodbye to something or someone you loved, but never losing the sense of possibility, the connection with joy, gratitude and greatness that is part of you?
There are gifts in every moment. Every change, no matter whether society tells us it’s a desirable change or not, has endless possibilities – if we are willing to receive the gifts they bring us.