When any judgement exists, it’s destroying. So if you make that demand that you will have gratitude instead of judgement, it will change your experience of grief. Every time you go to judgement of yourself, look at that and ask: “What could I be grateful for here? Or: What’s right about me here I’m not getting?”
When you have an awareness of this, the judgement can disappear because there is no right or wrong. There’s no such thing as a wrong choice. What if every choice is a contribution? So what if you just be with yourself during those times of sadness. Have those tears. And have allowance for you.
It’s the energy of having ease with what was, and what will be now. What if you could have those times of sadness and tears, but still be willing to be present with yourself and be in the question?
It’s not that you’re not going to have tears if you are missing someone - you need to be willing to allow yourself to have tears. And what if you don’t stay in that space all the time. Sadness can be part of your life, but it’s not your entire life, unless you allow it to be.
A friend’s grandmother is 93. Her grandfather died about 42 years ago, and her grandmother still talks about him like it was yesterday. He died when she was in her late 40s. She has not lived her life and all of this time later, she still living in the space of what he would think.
How many people are in relationship and they live so much in each other’s world, that they actually don’t know who they be? So when someone dies, moves away, or there’s a divorce or whatever, you need to ask: “Well, what’s going on? Who am I?” if you’d like to get out of the loop. And if you don’t want to let go of what was, you especially need to ask this question!!
Many people think that if they actually let go of the relationship, they haven’t got anything left. Your point of view creates your reality. What if you could change your point of view of what grief is?
What if you didn’t have to choose a reality of grief after loss or death? I remember when a close friend died and I was there with her at the end, and then I left and I was so inspired. “She’s chosen to go. That’s cool. But do you know what? I’ve got living to do, and I’m living it.” It was a totally different energy. There were no tears when she left, even though there were tears along the way.
What if someone choosing to die can be the inspiration for you to truly live? And what if we didn’t actually have to have something occur in our lives to get that? What if we could be willing to live every day and just enjoy it?